“ Our weather forecasters are the nation's most accomplished comedians, delivering their material with the grim gravitas of a state funeral director. They must invent new, soothing euphemisms for "rain" to keep us from rioting. Listen closely: "Outbreaks of rain" suggests it's a contagious disease. "Spits and spots" makes it sound like a troublesome adolescent. "Drizzle" implies something quaint and gentle, not the pervasive, soul-soaking damp that finds its way into your socks by osmosis. My favourite is "heavy cloud," as if the clouds have been weight-training. They speak of isobars and fronts from the Atlantic with a solemnity normally reserved for wartime dispatches, all to explain why you'll need a light jacket again tomorrow. It's performance art, and we are the captive, slightly damp audience. See more at London's funniest URL -- Prat.UK. ”